Maybe one of these days I will get super fast at acknowledging that I am suffering. This time it took me 36 hours to realize I have been suffering. I received news that I didn’t like. News that I received as defeating and “earth-shattering”. I know others might hear the details and disagree on the severity of the situation, but to me they are devastating news. Interestingly enough, I have already thought of alternatives pathways and how to forge forward, but the feelings part is not handled and I have been in a paralyzed state. Feeling sluggish, having difficulty concentrating, pushing things off for “later”, irritable, and perfectly fine alone >>> it was convenient to work from home today.

Anyway, it’s been a really difficult day today. I have “wasted” 36 hours where I could have been super productive and enjoyed time with others, but instead, I have been doing unproductive things that take me farther away from my goals.

I struggle to find ways to let my body know it’s okay, that we’re okay. That this setback is not permanent, and that instead we can use this as a challenge that will one day make us feel even more proud of the work we have accomplished. I struggle to let my body know this is not “my fault” and that I can give myself a break. That I don’t have to feel guilty and that I forgive myself for choices that have lead me to these circumstances. I let got and I release my soul, my body, and my mind from the suffering and blame that I am erroneously placing on my self. I don’t have to punish my self for any of this. I have simply made choices and they have lead me to this path. From here, I have the wherewithal to achieve my goals and dreams. I really do.

I can be responsible for my past, for my choices and for all the lessons I am learning. Shoot, in fact, I can be proud for learning these lessons and not letting them go to waste. I can share these lessons with my family, friends and anyone that is interested. For they are treasures that I have picked up along my journey. I am grateful to be in this lifetime, in this life, with these circumstances for they are the perfect circumstances for me. The Universe knows best and I am here to evolve so everything that is happening is FOR me.

So now what? These news and circumstances do not seem “earth-shattering” anymore, but what do I do next? How do I start my next action from a “winning mindset”? I suppose I forge forward… but do I need anything to do that? am I ready? do I need to feel anything else, can I just move on to the next thing? I don’t know really… I’m guessing so, but don’t know if there is something I’m missing… like a step, or a mantra, or something to keep me grounded with an elevated frequency… I don’t know, but I shall find out.

Life is for me and I’m ready for it.

Image Source: By Holger.Ellgaard – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4326478