Was thinking today, I miss him. Have repeated that phrase in my several times over the last few days. But it wasn’t until today, that it occurred to me, it’s the same stinking thought I’ve been having for the last several months, including the time when we were dating. Weeks would go by and we wouldn’t see each other and I would just miss him. 

While the thought is very sad still, I’m wondering if there is a way to help myself here. I mean, what does it matter if I’ve ended the relationship if I’m still having the same general thought and feeling. Which obviously brings me to the point of why I am not reaching out to him. Of course, I want to. But for what? For more of the same in a few weeks after the initial coming together wears off? No thank you, I would just prolong my misery for a few more weeks/months. Plus, if we didn’t get on the same page on how to communicate and spend time together while we had the opportunity of a “fresh” or “new” love, the chances of aligning after a perceived threat, are much slimmer. The perceived threat of ending the relationship would just add unnecessary stress to both. So yes, for all these reasons I’m not reaching out. Better to leave bygones be bygones, with a taint of mystery for the what could have been or explaining why things are what they are. The final result doesn’t change. What didn’t work out, didn’t work out. What worked, worked and lasted what it lasted.

So, given that I have chosen this path, I started to wonder how I can help myself here. I mean, unless I’m committed to living in sadness and misery, pining for what I wanted that wasn’t, I have the opportunity to care for myself. It really is brilliant. You know, how mothers would be to their children when they are sad, or fathers to their children when they are not achieving a high mark in sports or a hobby. Or the same way that I think, how to help Osito (my new puppy) get acclimated to his new home. How I can help him feel more comfortable in his crate, or his new bed, or go potty in the busy streets of the city, etc. 

I am thinking I can redirect my attention whenever the familiar thoughts come up. I could ask myself a question about another topic that I care about and boy there are a lot of things that really light me up about life and the potential to making this life be the fullest expression of this soul. It is okay that I have been sad, and it is okay if sadness comes up again. It is also okay for me to move on at full speed and to go about my days with both arms open wide to receive the MANY blessings the Universe has waiting for me! 

What an opportunity to start again. What a delightful way to embark in a new journey. Cheers my friends! To a new life! To beginnings! To seedlings!